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A spirit that is not afraid

Come on ladies (and gentlemen), we can do better

TSALTS
TSALTS

Let's take a journey together. Imagine, if you will, that you're walking down the concourse. In the five minutes it takes you to walk across the pavement, numerous people's poor clothing choices assault your eyes.

The first offender: The L.A.N.P. a.k.a. Leggings Are Not Pants.

They're not! Leggings are appropriate to wear under a short dress or a tunic top, not a T-shirt and NOT those little sorority shirts with the tiny pockets on the front. What are those pockets good for anyway? What can you fit in there? A quarter? Congratulations, you're a fifth of the way to doing a load of laundry. Or maybe you could fit some Cocoa Krispies in there in case you need a tiny snack. Eh, that's all you can eat anyway. You're in a sorority.

The second offender: The Nike shorts addict.

It has become unsettlingly common to see girls wearing their precious Nike shorts IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER with hose or leggings underneath.

Really? It's 30 degrees outside, you might want to consider buying some pants. I promise your Nike shorts won't disappear in the drawer over the winter. The Nike gods will not smite you for leaving them in your dresser for more than a day. They'll still be there in summer, when it's actually appropriate to wear them.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this trend is the amount of clothing it requires on the lower half. Underwear + Hose + Nike shorts (that have built in underwear)? That's way too many layers for that area! Let it breeeeathe, ladies!

Also, underwear over pants is reserved for superheroes and confused toddlers.

The third offender: Frat Boy dress.

And you thought I was going to leave out the boys, didn't you?

You boys really like your visors. You wear visors when it rains, when it's cloudy, and if there was a tornado, the winds would take your life before you let them take your visor. If you keep this up, you will get a reverse bald spot. NOT. ATTRACTIVE.

Another puzzling Frat Boy fashion statement is the "croakie and sunglasses" look... all the time. It was definitely cloudy almost every day last week, and you boys still had your sunglasses hanging from your neck. I guess that would come in handy if the sun decided to make a three second surprise appearance. Then you could throw your sunglasses on and be all, "Bitch, yes! I prepared for this!" or something equally obnoxious.

The final offender: XXL Shirt Lovers.

Are you going to bed? Because there is no other reason to be wearing a shirt that large. It's not cute. You could hide like, four guns under those things. Clearly, these hideously huge shirts are a danger to the Auburn campus. If this was high school, they would make you tuck that shit in.

The worst part is, we all know you chose that shirt on purpose. They weren't out of extra smalls. You thought it would be super adorable if you wore a massive top instead of one that actually fit you.

For goodness sake, dress for your body. It takes just as much time to put on that sloppy shirt as it does to put on jeans and a cardigan.

That concludes our journey across the concourse. It's amazing how much you see in such a short amount of time. I'm only sorry that you can't UN-see it.

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