Date parties, Greek week, Panhellenic points, DJ options for Spring Formal - I remember when these things used to mean a lot to me.
They don't anymore, but I'm not ashamed.
As an Indiana girl with no friends across the Mason-Dixon line, coming to college at Auburn was a scary idea. Throw in a week of early wake-up calls, small talk and sundresses, and the thought was downright terrifying.
I would've rejected all of it, but my mom wouldn't let me. She signed me up for sorority recruitment and told me to grow up, get over it and get ready for college.
I'm not in a sorority anymore, but I'm glad my mother convinced me to give it a shot. Here's why:
For me, joining a sorority wasn't paying for a label. It was having a common denominator with my roommate, who I'd never met before. It was making friends I probably wouldn't have met otherwise. It was having mandated study hours I would have wasted instead, learning about campus groups and being encouraged to try out for them, even when I swore I'd never make it. It was having a group of people to cheer me on no matter the outcome.
But by my junior year, being in a sorority was none of those things for me anymore.
Don't get me wrong - I have nothing but respect for the women of Panhellenic. They raise millions of dollars for charity each year, set high standards for themselves both in behavior and academia and create lasting friendships with each other. My mom, a former sorority girl herself, is still in contact with several of her sisters from her Chi Omega days at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
For me, though, being a part of a sorority became something different.
Instead of looking forward to those DJ discussions at chapter, I stacked up excuses why I shouldn't go. I scrambled to get work done when I realized I had to, and, if I opted to skip out instead, I $50 paid for it. I never felt comfortable at formal, which for me was like the grown-up equivalent of awkward middle school dances. I didn't hold an office in my sorority, either, and by sophomore year, I stopped feeling like a contributing, valuable member.
I'm a busy person. Structure makes me better. Free time turns me into a slug that watches an entire season of House of Cards in one weekend. I was juggling tough classes, Dance Marathon, Camp War Eagle, friends, a social life, sleep and more, and though my list of priorities might not have been in that exact order, I knew with some certainty that Greek life was coming in dead last.
I tried to tell myself I could hang in there. I only had two years left, right? Maybe the summer would give me some perspective.
But another week of recruitment passed, classes started, my commitments grew and changed. The more I scratched it, the worse my desire to quit itched, and the only consistency was the feeling of dread every Sunday when I'd put on a nice dress and go to chapter.
So, I quit.
There are times when I see pictures of functions or hear my roommate talking about new officers, and I feel a little sad for not being a part of that anymore. For some people, Greek life really is an awesome thing - it was for Freshman Maddie, who found the sense of community she desperately needed during a tough transition to Southern living.
But organizations need passionate members who strive to make their groups better every day and are willing to get their hands dirty in the process. For my sorority, I just wasn't one of those people anymore.
If girls want to spend their Sunday (or Tuesday, or Wednesday, or whenever) night debating which philanthropy event to put on, or which t-shirt color to order, power to them.
I'll probably spend mine working, or watching House of Cards, instead.
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