Recently the people of Twitter got the hashtag #DatingIsHardBecause trending to vent their complaints. As I read them I realized I have priceless insight to offer. So, here I am to offer advice and fix everyone’s problems.
#DatingIsHardBecause we are all awful, every one of us
— Sean Grandillo (@seangrandillo) November 22, 2016
You’re absolutely right. Every single person, of the seven billion on this Earth, is awful. The key is to find the right kind of horrible person that complements your own horrible. For example, if you're a raging narcissist find someone who likes to constantly criticize others. You're ego might take a little bit of a blow on a daily basis which is exactly what a narcissist needs.
Another viable option is to lower your standards and understand that people are complex.
#DatingIsHardBecause I'm a 2 that likes 10's.
— Dillon (@D1lln) November 22, 2016
Gain some self confidence and stop expecting so much from others. There's a nice middle ground to be found here. Or find a 10 with bad vision.
#DatingIsHardBecause the one I want doesn't want me back
— Drew Ryan Scott (@drewryanscott) November 22, 2016
Manipulation tactics are crucial here. Have mutual friends subtly mention all of your positive qualities. They could drop comments about how naturally gorgeous you are when you wake up. Or how you always let your significant other win arguments even when they’re obviously wrong.
Another super effective strategy is to post pictures on social media of how handy you are to have around. For example, a Snapchat story of how nicely you can fold clean clothes or the light bulb that you replaced all by yourself. At this point you’re basically irresistible. Changing how people feel is always possible if you try hard enough.
We always like to think of ourselves as the better person or the victim of someone else’s faults. The reality of it is break ups aren’t just painful for the person getting broken up with. The super fun part about breakups is you’re either feeling the pain of hurting someone you once loved or the pain of someone you love no longer feeling the same way. It’s the nature of break ups. Accept it and brace yourself or get comfortable being single.
#DatingIsHardBecause I Don't Have A Single Thing To Wear The Goes With This Ankle Monitor
— McMannofthepeople (@McMannofthepeop) November 22, 2016
It’s obviously time for a shopping spree. Get some clothes that can really accentuate the monitor. I’m assuming the monitor is black and it’s getting closer to winter so darker colored clothes are in. The ankle monitor can even be a statement piece.
#datingishardbecause
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) November 22, 2016
any children that could be produced from your successful union will die as a result of climate change
Everyone dies at some point. Why let the inevitable doom of your children stop you from reproducing with the person you love? But if your child dying at some point is significant enough of an issue for you then there is a pretty wild option you could go for. Don’t have children.
#DatingIsHardBecause Human Interaction Is NOT My Forte
— McMannofthepeople (@McMannofthepeop) November 22, 2016
The Internet is making it increasingly easy to live our entire lives without ever leaving the comfort of our Cheeto dust covered couches. For those of us with fun social anxiety problems or a natural aversion to people, online dating is a great option. The ability to portray yourself exactly how you wish is a gift and certainly one to take advantage of. I suggest you start an online relationship. Relationships in which you’ve never met the person are usually the most successful.
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