One of the most blatant signs of maturity is being kind when no one expects you to be.
Likewise, one of the most blatant signs of immaturity is being a jerk when everyone expects you to be.
Henry James once said, “Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”
Sometimes I wonder why some people decide to be nice and others clearly decide not to be.
I don’t know if it’s a conscious decision or something that is much deeper within you.
Of course, when I was a little girl, I heard, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
And just as it does with every young child, I dare to say it went in one ear and straight out the other.
I didn’t really understand what all the fuss was about.
When you’re 6 years old and you want to say something, you want to say it. You don’t want to sit and ponder its degree of niceness.
But, since I heard it so often, I decided I was probably being told for a reason.
As I got older, I became quite opinionated.
And when I say opinionated, I mean stubborn.
I was compassionate, and I cared about people, but I was downright sassy.
Then, I came to college.
All of a sudden, I was popped right out of the bubble I lived in during high school.
I’ll never forget the day it happened.
I was sitting in Honors Human Odyssey, and I heard a classmate say the words, “Welfare should be privatized because poor people aren’t my problem, and I don’t want to help them.”
I was sick to my stomach.
Those words perfectly described the opinion I had long held in my head.
All of that changed that day.
It just took me hearing someone verbalize my opinion for me to realize that wasn’t what I wanted to believe at all.
Before I came to Auburn, I hadn’t felt it necessary to be tolerant of people with opinions different than mine because I hadn’t met very many people who fell into that category.
I didn’t think tolerance was necessary because I had always thought I was right.
After that day, however, I found myself arguing much less and always for completely different things than I ever had before.
That was the day I stopped believing what I thought I was supposed to believe and started thinking for myself.
It just so happens, that was the day I became a kinder person. I started being the person I knew I should be.
That was the day I started becoming an adult.
I don’t think most people have that kind of epiphany, but I am grateful every day that I did.
Maturity doesn’t just happen — it’s something to work for.
It’s not something you can fake.
You can’t pretend to be a kind human being.
If you’re wondering if I am implying that treating other people with kindness and respect is a direct result of maturity, why, yes I am.
