If you ask a single person what they dislike most about being single, typically, you won’t hear that it’s about being alone. Rather, that it’s about being the only one left alone.
It’s difficult when everyone from your group of friends becomes an “us” and you are the only “I” left standing.
For me, this is a very real predicament.
Lately, I’ve realized seemingly all my friends are in relationships.
Engagement rings are being handed out like candy (Katie, put it away), and people I never considered to be “compatible couple material” are enjoying each others company way more than anyone thought they would.
I admit, I do think it would be nice to be in a relationship.
I also think it would be nice to have free Moe’s for life or to pay less than $3 a gallon for gas.
I’ve always felt most comfortable alone. I don’t have anyone to look out after except myself.
When I soon go out into the “real world” I won’t have anyone to support but David.
I will not sigh when I check “single” on my tax returns, even though marriage does bring some pretty healthy tax benefits.
Ever since some girl kissed me on the playground during kindergarten recess, I’ve told myself I don’t need anyone to “complete” me.
I think she just got mad because I didn’t talk to her anymore after that.
But when I look around I think: have I been lying to myself? Do I secretly want a relationship? If I did, do I really think one will make me happy?
I’m stubborn and selfish, so of course I’m not going to have a definitive answer to those questions. But if I did, I would like to think they would be “no” and “heck no,” followed by a laugh.
You know how sometimes you lie to yourself so many times about something, you eventually begin to believe it?
I’ve been telling myself for as long as I can remember that relationships are not what they are cut out to be and having one, when the chances of it working out are not in your favor, is pointless.
If relationships are so pointless, then it seems like I’m swimming up the wrong society stream.
No matter where you look, from movies to magazines to ads, men are always being told they need a partner to be happy.
Regardless of how you phrase it, there is a stigma attached to being single that exists in society, and the result is a deep sense of embarrassment about being by yourself.
It’s difficult to feel OK about being single if you buy into the social myth that you are worthless if you are not part of a pair.
I know I don’t buy into the idea (yet) of me being “worthless,” but is that how couples see single people as?
When you see a homeless person, people tend to wonder what went wrong in their life to make them so empty; do couples see singles as being somewhat “empty” and wonder what went wrong in our lives?
American culture would have us think there are only two ways to feel about being single: awesome or crappy.
Either you’re a flirt who has no intentions of settling down or a depressed cat lady lighting shrines to the dating gods.
Can you be both?
Maybe there are times — watching couples fighting on the street, cuddling up in a freshly made bed, spending a day shopping for drapes and a baby crib — when you’re completely fine with and happy being alone.
Other times — finding yourself without weekend plans, seeing couples kiss on the street, sitting alone in your living room on a rainy Sunday — being single sucks.
James Taylor once said, “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time,” with or without a mate.
For the last 21 years of my life, I’ve enjoyed the passage of time.
I’ve enjoyed it without any special person there by my side to hold my hand because I know I have been strong enough to pull myself up from whatever has brought me down. And, lately, I’ve become pretty strong.
For now, I’m going to continue to embrace and enjoy being single and do everything I want to do.
Oh, and I will be coming to those weddings, if only for the cake. Put me down for “one.”
David Ingram is the Editor of The Auburn Plainsman. You can reach him at 844-9021.
