We can’t believe it either.
You would think a man who is about to go on trial would think it wise to stay away from anything involving police, but that’s not Updyke’s style.
On Tuesday, Sept. 18, Updyke was arrested and booked in Hammond, La., for terrorizing during a dispute over a lawn mower.
Obviously, we can’t comment on his innocence or guilt in this case, or any illegal actions he may or may not have confessed to, but we can take a moment to ruminate on our strange and tragic connection to the alleged poisoner of the Toomer’s oaks. After all, we’ve know him for almost three years. Most relationships don’t even last that long.
He certainly isn’t a friend of the Auburn community. We will most likely never be able to forgive what he has allegedly done. However, at this point, we have more pity for him than hate.
Because of Updyke, we’ve gotten a glimpse of the real world of Bama fandom, and all the misguided inanity that goes along with it. He is a living caricature of all that is wrong with the Bammers. An Auburn fan like him might exist somewhere, but we highly doubt it.
It may seem like we are proclaiming our superiority, but look at all the praise Harvey has garnered from his fellow Bama fans. His presence at the 2011 BCS National Championship and the fans that posed for pictures with him should be enough to suggest he is actually the biggest Bama fan ever to don a houndstooth cap.
They admire him.
However, it is fame he is not ready to accept, and that’s why we pity him. Much like Kurt Cobain, Updyke’s celebrity status is causing him to fall off the edge. If only there was a reservation where he could run around all day and allegedly poison any tree his heart desires.
Sadly, a place like that does not exist. Instead, he is stuck allegedly making threats over the cost of a lawn mower.
We can’t help but feel pity for a guy that has become a parody of a college football rivalry.
If you think about it, Auburn and Bama games mean absolutely nothing in the long run. Anyone who takes them so seriously as to break the law when their team loses has to have some serious flaws in judgment.
On Thursday, Sept. 27, Updyke is scheduled to return to Lee County for a status hearing.
In all honesty, we hope this is the last hearing before the trial begins. Whether Updyke really did do what he confessed to doing, we just want some closure.
We have been waiting since 2010 to get some kind of justice for the Toomer’s Oaks, and we are frustrated and tired. Hearing about all of Updyke’s shenanigans since he confessed has just made it that much more difficult to wait.
Sure, it has been entertaining. We will never forget the video of Elva Updyke yelling at a police officer while entering the Lee County Justice Center. Seeing Updyke show up for court in jeans was also a particularly high moment during this ordeal.
But the party is over. It’s time to move on.
All we can say is we sincerely hope whoever is responsible for poisoning the Toomer’s Oaks pays for their crime. We certainly look forward to the day when we no longer have to hear about what some strange guy from Louisiana is doing, and we can’t wait for the day when we can just argue about football like normal people.