Editorial: Bammers are in a class of their own
by EDITORIAL BOARD
Dec 04, 2013 | 28838 views | 22 22 comments | 45 45 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Rachel Suhs / DESIGNER
Rachel Suhs / DESIGNER
slideshow
Football is not a classy sport, no matter how much you try to dress it up.

It’s a visceral and violent game that can have moments of poetic eloquence. Take the Miracle at Jordan-Hare or Chris Davis’ 109-yard, game-winning touchdown as examples. But it’s not classy.

So, it’s perfectly all right to be a classless football fan. It’s all right to swill beer and stuff nachos in your fat mouth while you scream like a fool at the TV. It’s your duty as an American, a true patriot.

Men and women do it; Auburn fans, Bama fans and the like. It’s as much a part of the game as coaches with god complexes and multimillion-dollar corporate sponsorship.

There is a line, however.

Most of us know that person who is annoyingly hyper-competitive and takes things way too far. He keys the car of the guy who beat him in a pick-up game of basketball. She spreads a rumor that her roommate has herpes just because she forgot to do the dishes.

In the state of Alabama, this type of person is known as a Bammer.

We won’t go into all the Bammer stereotypes, even though they are quite funny and mostly true. No, we just want to take this time to show how even in the classless world of college football, Bammers make us all look like royalty.

Since Harvey Updyke poisoned the Toomer’s Oaks after Bama’s 2010 Iron Bowl loss, some Bama fans have tried to distance themselves from the crazed reactionary image Updyke has cemented in the minds of Auburn fans.

However, those doing the distancing are in the minority.

He is the Bammer patriarch and they have taken his vitriolic insanity as gospel.

For example, Cade Foster, the Tide kicker who missed two field goals and had one blocked, was sent death threats. Of course, it was all Bammers making these threats, Bammers who thought killing a man was the best way to deal with the loss.

There’s also the charming Richard Brantley, who confessed to a SportsCenter reporter that he wanted to die after Bama lost.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t restore honor to his favorite team with a blood sacrifice because he has a family who is only slightly less important than Bama football.

And these are only two examples from a long history of awe-inspiring stupidity.

You see, these are not the words and actions of average, classless football fans; these are the words of Bammers. These are the words of the sad, lonely bunch of folks who define their lives by a college football program.

So take to heart the lessons of the past four years Bama. Learn from what Updyke and the Bammers have done. And remember, just because you’re a bunch of winners doesn’t mean you can’t also be a bunch of losers.

Comments
(22)
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jemsec
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December 07, 2013
Your excellent editorial should be printed in every paper in the Southeastern Conference. It's great that you put the true story in print and everyone appreciates your comments. Except Bammers.

Thanks.
luvcats13
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December 07, 2013
I'm an Alabama fan who was raised by my Daddy (may he rest in piece ) to support Auburn when they aren't playing Bama. Likewise, support SEC teams. I realize that makes me different from this generation of "rabid" fans, which obviously include the students who write for the Auburn student newspaper.

The Auburn football team may be playing for the SEC Championship due to unbelievably lucky plays on the football field and God bless 'em for taking advantage of those opportunities. But the Auburn student newspaper IS NOT READY FOR PRIMETIME !

I'll still be pulling for Auburn over Missouri. I'll be holding my breath during the Ohio State/Michigan State game in the hope the SEC will have another shot at continuing our historic run of winning BCS Championships. And I'll even entertain a tiny spark of anticipation that the Fightin'' Blue Devils perform a true miracle (I'm calling on y'all - Bear and Shug) which blows up the BCS in it's last year with an Iron Bowl rematch. If that infinitesimal improbability happens, I WILL NOT be pulling for Auburn, I will EXPECT Alabama to win and that doesn't make me a Bammer; it makes me what the majority of Alabamians are - a Crimson Tide FAN. ROLL TIDE !

Sincerely,

Connie Lawrence Goggins

Montevallo, Alabama
luvcats13
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December 07, 2013
Dang spell check, Daddy - may you rest in PEACE! Though the typo most likely made ya laugh.
wrreaglegirl
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December 15, 2013
Stay out of our newspaper. Nobody in Auburn cares what you think. You're trolling. Just like all red team fans you can't stand for anything good to happen on the Plains.

You don't pull for Auburn ever, I don't care what you say.

Nor do we pull for you...ever.

You just worry about your team and leave the Auburn Tigers to us. You are trespassing here. So bugger off!!

WAR EAGLE!

P.S. stop invoking bear....he's dead, and he's certainly no diety that deserves to be invoked. he was only a bully and a drunk.

beast65
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December 06, 2013
Some folks just don't understand satire.
luvcats13
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December 07, 2013
Most people do understand it, they're just not fans of poorly written satire that is actually a passive-aggressive attempt to compensate for a HUGE (and deserved) inferiority complex.

Just to be clear, I'm not using satire, I'm using insults to express my opinion of the "journalism" demonstrated by "The Auburn Plainsman".
kdb4au
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December 15, 2013
luvcats13:

Your screen name is talking about your love of cats… nice.

Btw… you are quite critical of the Plainsman's journalistic skills. Have you done any research on the Plainsman? If so you'll find out that the Plainsman has won the 2nd most Pacemakers awards (practically the national championship for collegiate papers) in the nation.

Check facts, crazy cat lady.
JaxCol
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December 06, 2013
I commend Auburn fans that find this offensive. Every university has someone that has an "Updyke-ish" rabid fan nature in them. I believe you have found yours. Good luck tomorrow. Cheers!
DaleCarter
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December 06, 2013
As an Auburn alum, I am embarrassed by this goofy column.
2Wheeler
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December 06, 2013
2 words Robert McGinty
bammer069
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December 06, 2013
If your man enough to write this article why don't you sign your name to it? I'd probably put by "Editorial Board" too if I wrote this garbage..
SouthernInNewYork
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December 05, 2013
As an Auburn alum, I want to express my disappointment in the Plainsman editorial staff in printing this piece. Auburn men and women are known for their class, dignity and respect. This editorial exudes nothing but the opposite. I believe in Auburn and love it, but I do not love that the editorial board of such a respected publication has printed such a demeaning and classless piece.
LamarcusV
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December 05, 2013
Oh the irony…

Have you forgotten that a few of your own sent DEATH TREATS to BRENT CALLOWAY for switching his allegiance at the last minute; Scott Moore for threatening to play bogus tapes; and Harvey Updyke as well. Lastly, I do recall a certain AUBURN kicker receiving similar threats from his fellow “family” after singlehandedly losing the LSU game a few years ago. I bet you’ve forgotten all about these incidents, haven’t you? But I don't want to lump ALL Auburn fans into this category, because a TRUE Auburn fan would never commit such a heinous act.

Point is: Both sides has its fair share of idiots. But the fact that you can point a finger without realizing three more are pointed back at you only proves you're a delusional hypocrite.

I personally am an Alabama fan. I'm married to an Auburn fan. I was born and raised in a split household. I currently reside in Auburn and love it here. I love the people. The traditions. The spirit. But like the Alabama fanbase, there are a few idiots, such as yourself, that do their best to ruin a great rivalry. A rivalry that proved it wasn't as heated as many bill it when a deranged maniac killed a landmark that has seen many generations come and pass... and also proved it wasn't as heated when the Auburn family was the first to respond in the tornado aftermath of Tuscaloosa.

Major props to the Auburn fans taking a stand against this idiot.
ucicare
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December 05, 2013
I had to read this article twice. Heres why.

1.I was schooled in Alabama and I ain't never read a heap nor been took nowhere much.

2.I couldn't believe that anyone smart enough to be admitted to Auburn would write something this sophomoric.

Mostly number 2. Seriously, is this a spoof or a troll attempt? I find it incredulous that a journalism major would pen such tripe.

If this is real, give yourself an F and do better.

If a Bammer wrote it and slipped it as a joke - then that's just the troll of the century.

AU-GRAD
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December 05, 2013
I am extremely disappointed in the editorial staff of my Alma Mater's newspaper. You have just stooped to a level of classlessness far below the worst you described in any Alabama fan.

EVERYONE ON THE PLAINSMAN EDITORAL BOARD SHOULD BE DISMISSED IMMEDIATELY!!! ANY FACULATY MEMBER COMPLICIT IN THIS SHOULD FOLLOW SHORTLY BEHIND.
WarEagle14
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December 05, 2013
I just don't get the point of this... it feels like a spiteful rant of a losing team. But we won. We won in the most exciting Iron Bowl in present history.

Stuff like this is what you see going on at AU/UA fan sites - by rabid fans that don't have affiliation to the school. It is sad to see this coming from our own students. Do you think this of all of your friends who attend Alabama? Your cousins, and siblings, and neighbors?

I know what you mean when you say "Bammer", but many people will assume you're lumping in ALL Alabama fans. You didn't preface this by explaining what segment of UA fans bammers are.

I find this piece to be very inappropriate.
ptr07
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December 05, 2013
C'mon, AU Plainsman. You can't claim to be the "classier" fan base and then publish articles like these. I could understand some AU fanatic blog website posting this, but not a newspaper who seeks to be considered a credible source. Face it, there's fans on both sides of the rivalry that take it too far.
AuburnAlum
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December 05, 2013
How disappointing.

As an Auburn alum and a former Plainsman staff member, I'm shocked at the editorial decision behind this column.

Sure, it's an opinion piece, and we're all entitled to our opinions, but this is a newspaper, not a blog or gossip column. Sit down at your editorial board meetings and discuss something real, something important.

As "AlabamaAlum" pointed out before me, this column does nothing to encourage friendly relations between the two schools. It disregards completely the many, many endeavors (including Tide for Toomer's) to improve relations between the two schools.

And furthermore, this column is as self-condemning as it is condemning of the University of Alabama. Every time a "Barner" says something rude about a "Bammer," we stoop to the level we claim to look down upon.
fya
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December 06, 2013
Your first sentence sums this piece up perfectly. An Auburn alum and former Plainsman staff and editorial board member myself, I can't believe it was decided to waste print space with this haughty, chip-on-the-shoulder, our-shit-don't-stink attitude of an editorial. "If you've nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" clearly wasn't on the minds of the board members hooting and hollering around the editorial table over the greatest win in the history of college football. I will say that the last sentence of this piece is pretty clever; too bad it was wasted on such an insignificant and classless topic.
y4231
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December 05, 2013
Look y'all, I'm not affiliated with either school, but take a step back and look at this from an unbiased perspective.

This entire article in itself, especially as an editorial, is unclassy.

If you're going to talk about class and ignorance among college football fans, don't stoop down to that level then turn around and try to say one is better than the other. Because it's not.

And yeah, reactions after the game have been ridiculous. But I've seen some nasty, horrific things from BOTH fanbases over the years. You can write up this junk and think you're better, just like Alabama could write up something similar, but you're BOTH wrong. The fact that this article exists proves that fact. True class wouldn't have written this.

So you're both unclassy, Auburn & Alabama. Now get over it.
AlabamaAlum
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December 05, 2013
"However, those doing the distancing are in the minority.

He is the Bammer patriarch and they have taken his vitriolic insanity as gospel."

I understand that the statement above is merely the opinion of a biased editorial board, but baseless words like these are insulting to those at Tide for Toomer's, a group of more than 50,000 people that donated $50,000 to the Toomer's Trees and Traditions Fund. Further, it is insulting to those of us who pull for UA but have positive interactions Auburn graduates and fans on a daily basis throughout this state.

Personally, I am very skeptical of your unsupported opinion that a minority of Alabama fans have distanced themselves from the man who poisoned AU's oaks. At the very least, some evidence such accompany such a divisive and unnecessary claim. Perhaps the editorial board should spend time away from Twitter and outside of your college bubble, where most "Bammers," to use your derogatory term, go back to work on Monday and talk football with Auburn fans.

This editorial reads as if it is intended to do more harm than good to relations between UA and AU, which is a regretful position for a student newspaper—even one with “a spirit that is not afraid”—to take.

BrianRoberson
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December 05, 2013
Please forgive my iphone grammar not at a PC it's just a game any team that wins in the beautiful state of alabama should be celebrated don't let your hate for your perspective rival out weight your love for your home state or adopted state any one living in al could be considered a hammer in the right set of hate filled eyes there is no one living who is truly classy not even if the queen of England came to Bryant d or Jordan h we have all done something uncivil in the eyes of someone with "hi morals and standards so let's collectively show love if not understanding mutual respect or tollerance which evr you chose let's not let hate spoile a good time we can choose to be proud of and sec team especially one from alabama whom ever competes in the bcs show so pride because it could be a team from another conf wining then we would have a tollally different problem lets just en-joy