1. Abbreves - They're dying, just let them. Srsly. (Except for SMH, that one will live on forever.)
2. Anything that's a little bit too punctually sophisticated.
Example: Status updates like, "Just went to the Overall Company with mahbestie!!! Best. Popsicles. Ever," or comments like, "This. Is. Too. Cute," on a picture of your ex with her new boyfriend.
3. The phrase "Leggoooo," ...? What are you saying?
4. The Harlem Shake - MAKE THE MADNESS STOP. I mean, I guess it's cool that everyone wants to spread videos of themselves having awkwardly staged danced parties. Actually, I take that back. There's literally nothing cool about that.
5. Gallon Smashing Prank - All right, I'll admit that I chuckled a little the first time I watched this one. It was a nervous laugh though, given how uncomfortable slap-stick humor makes me. Three straight minutes of someone busting ass on two gallons of milk he spastically threw shouldn't even be entertaining enough to hold a toddler's attention, but somehow non-toddlers everywhere are captivated. It's time we all ask ourselves, "What the hell?" and move on.
6. Anyone else think this type of post has gotten a little out of hand?
Dear whoever,
Insert generic phrase here.
That is all.
I can't explain why, but something about this makes me feel weird. Maybe because everyone is sending mini letters to everyone via Facebook.
*The Twitter - Just kidding. That one can stay.
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