“Home” is a word that has many personal connotations. Maybe “home” does not have the best memories associated with it and you are eager to start something new in college. Maybe you have never known anything outside of your “home” And you haven’t given much thought to the importance of having a “home.”
Wherever you find yourself in the weeks leading up to your first day of college, I think it’s okay to assume you want to make a “home” for yourself here at Auburn. When I first loaded up my car and drove to my empty dorm room in Auburn, I had countless refrains and stories circling in my head: “home is where the heart is,” “those were the best years of my life” or “you make all your best friends in college.”
I want to both confirm and deny everything cheesy you’ve ever heard about how awesome college is. Yes, it is an amazingly formative time in your life, full of fun memories and unforgettable experiences. At the same time, it is not easy.
People don’t often highlight or meditate on the difficult things about college: the loneliness, the awkwardness of meeting new people, the challenges of new classes and other unfamiliar things.
Those “negative” things are there, but they don’t necessarily detract from your Auburn experience. In my opinion, it is the mixture of the good and bad, and the emergence of the authentically enjoyable, that makes college feel like home.
Nobody’s home is perfect. We have fights with our parents or siblings. We have long nights of crying over math homework with mom or dad at the kitchen table (this is a universal experience, right?). We come home from extracurriculars completely drained.
We face disappointments and challenges. However, despite all life’s challenges, “home” is a place that includes and absorbs all our challenges, and it is a place we find comfort in the midst of them. We can be authentic and enjoy ourselves there. It is a place to call “shelter.” It involves the notion of “family” – whether related by blood or not.
Here are five tips for making an unfamiliar place feel like home, from someone who has faced a lot of unfamiliar places in her day (being both a military kid and an out-of-state student). I believe these practices can help any place – no matter how unknown or daunting – feel a little more like a place of community, rest and fun.
1. You have to put yourself out there. We don’t have to do this in our homes when we’re brought home for the first time as a baby. Those “homes” are created for us and we are welcomed into them. It’s not that we aren’t wanted in college, but you have to keep in mind that people are much more focused on learning to sustain their own lives – especially freshman year.
Don’t be offended when you’re not invited or you don’t have much in common with the people around you. Keep mustering up the strength to be yourself. That is the beauty of college – and especially Auburn. There is so much variety; you will find whatever you search for.
2. Maintain your roots but keep your branches in mind. I hope this doesn’t get too metaphorical. One practical example is to bring pictures of your loved ones from home and call them every once in a while but don’t let your “old” life take up more time than your “new” one.
We can face new things with the support of others, so it’s important to keep up with your network of people outside of Auburn. Those roots will stay strong and support you to grow new, strong and blossoming branches.
3. Create a space for rest. An essential part of a “home” is that it’s the place we sleep. We spend many hours eating, relaxing or just “being” at home. My advice is to have a definitive separation between home and school.
Maybe it’s a few hours on Saturday you used to purposefully spend time doing school or hanging out with friends. It takes a bit of self-awareness and intentionality, but having space and time to give yourself mental peace will be worth your while.
4. Take the opportunity to recreate yourself a little bit. You can find new habits or turn over a new leaf. Part of creating a home is knowing and liking who you are. “Home” is a safe space in which you can be yourself.
We all do this in our process of growing up. We discover new hobbies or new favorite foods. We learn to make amends and to try again when we fail. To make something feel like “home,” we have to bring the behaviors of home with us.
5. Lastly, be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you don’t create a network of besties in your first week. Everyone else is going through the process of creating a home as well. College is very fluid, like the people in the homes we grew up in. We outgrow clothes, we develop personalities, we get braces, we sprain our ankles and heal, we get in fights and we make up.
Nothing will ever be a carbon copy of what you grew up in, but that’s the beauty of it: it will be a new home.
Maybe you’ve never experienced a real “home” before. I truly believe you can find it here in Auburn. It has become a home for me, in all senses of the word, and I am sad to be in my last year here. I can confidently say all the challenges were worth it, and my experiences here will leave their impact on me forever.
No matter what you look for, you will be able to find it here in Auburn. I want to end by wishing you the best and welcoming you home.
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Sami Grace Donnelly, senior in English literature, began writing for the Plainsman in the fall of 2021. She has served as a columnist, writer abroad, Opinion Editor, managing editor and is now Editor-in-Chief of the Plainsman.
