For me, no major holiday would be complete without a five-hour plane ride home to California from Atlanta.
As the last class of the day ends, I run home to stuff my magic silver suitcase (Which, no matter how much I have crammed into it, never exceeds the 50 lb. limit) full of clothes, shoes and other miscellaneous girl products.
I proceed to huff and puff down the stairs, complain about too many things in said suitcase, shove off into my little blue
car and head to the Atlanta airport, inevitably late.
Here is where my holiday begins and airport adventures take flight (ha).
While many share travel stories of wonderful upgrades and attractive strangers, I have somehow managed to navigate my way into numerous awkward situations.
One disgustingly notable time was back in my freshman year, when I was naive and thought a window seat was still covetable.
I ended up crammed against the wall next to two middle-aged military men. Feeling quite safe, I was completely relaxed until I had to use the restroom.
Upon asking to be let out, I was informed I could simply climb over them in order to reach my destination. Over the course of the trip (five hours requires at least two bathroom trips for me) I alternated between having to face the seat and allowing them an up close and personal experience with my backside, or turning around for an equally uncomfortable experience.
To make it better, my 5'3" frame couldn't stretch over their legs so either way, straddling was involved.
Lesson #1: Always get an aisle seat, no matter the cost.
Another time, I had to check in "late" because my connecting flight was delayed and I had to wait until it arrived to check-in at the airport. Upon arriving at the gate, I was informed I had a ticket, but no seat. I stared at the flight attendant for a solid twenty seconds, then asked, "What would be the point of a ticket without a seat?" When I didn't receive a decent answer, I proceeded to systematically verbally take down each and every flight attendant attempting to placate me under the sadly misinformed impression that I was a confused 15 year-old girl instead of a well-traveled, 20 year-old woman.
Ultimately, five other passengers, including a family with children and two military men who were about to be deployed, were forced to wait an additional two hours for another flight to a different airport that was an hour and a half away where we would be bussed to our final
destination.
Luckily, due to my tantrum of icy and epic proportions, we also all received $400 in "Delta Dollars" and a free dinner during our two-hour wait. Unluckily, I ended up spending about 17 hours traveling that day and had to pretend to belong to the family in order to get in the bus
with them.
Lesson #2: If you must throw a fit in the airport, make it really good.
Get free stuff.
I could go on with numerous lessons I have learned from my 19 years of travel experience, such as, Lesson #3: Don't laugh in victory when your bag comes in at 49.8 lb. and the attendant has to lift it on to the conveyor belt, or Lesson #4 It is totally appropriate to ask a parent to remove his or her child's hands off of your face, but many of these gems
will have to be discovered on your own.
If, like me, you too celebrate each holiday by hopping on a plane home, happy travels this holiday season.
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