Senior year of college may be just as awkward as those we-just-don't-talk-about-it-anymore middle school years.
I remember back in middle school when all the girls were "going out" with boys (where we went I still don't know), and everyone seemed to be pairing up like penguins. Social circles began to revolve around who had gone out with Zach or who liked Kevin.
It certainly hasn't stopped since then, but up until now, balancing friends and relationships was kind of easy--it's not like people were talking about getting married or anything.
Well, now they are. We are. Everyone is. I'm one of them, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I love my boyfriend.
But it suddenly seems like a girl's gotta pick between being in a relationship and having friends.
My friends are great, and this isn't an angry rant aimed at them, but let's face it: when they think about who to call for a Friday night hangout, it's generally not me.
"Oh, I thought you'd be hanging out with Scott, so I didn't call."
That makes total sense, of course, because at this point in so many women's lives, they're so wrapped up in Mr. Right that they ditch their friends who haven't found him yet.
There's reason behind the stereotype. Girls with boyfriends are known to decline invitations, leave parties early and talk too much about how wonderful their boyfriend is.
We've been groomed for this day all our lives, and when it actually comes, a lot of women buckle under the pressure and stay glued to their boyfriends' sides, afraid to leave him alone for even a second.
But there are some of us who don't drop everything for a man, and we still get the shaft based solely on principle.
That group of friends you used to crush on boys with--generally called the "Fab Four" or something like that--looks different now that one of the boys actually made a move. Tension arises.
Part of that is because of the newly-in-love girl's sickeningly repetitive stories about her perfect romance (when she doesn't flake out all together on your plans), and part of that might be just a twinge of jealousy from the others. No one is completely to blame.
Fellow girlfriends, we have to realize that he's not the center of our world. Our friends have been around a lot longer than him, and, in many cases, they're going to be around long after he's gone. Make time for them. Their love for you is valuable and can't possibly be replaced by any man, no matter how wonderful you think he is.
Face it, he will never actually enjoy watching Julia Roberts movies with you, and he probably tunes you out when you talk for more than five minutes straight about the new dress you want to buy. Sometimes, you just need girlfriends.
All the single ladies, give your friend some grace. You'll be just as giddy and flaky when you find your guy. The first couple of months of a friend's new relationship will test your patience, but as the newness wears off, she'll probably stop talking about him so much. Be patient. Most of all, keep calling her. Tell her you miss her.
Ask her to go to lunch or have a sleepover. Don't assume she's busy before you even ask.
Love and the idea of marriage are beautiful things, and so is friendship. We all want both, and everyone has to work to keep the balance.
Do you like this story? The Plainsman doesn't accept money from tuition or student fees, and we don't charge a subscription fee. But you can donate to support The Plainsman.
