Scientists like to say there is such thing as failure.
They claim even when an experiment goes awry, or the results are unexpected, they are still able to gather useful data. Some of the best scientific discoveries have happened by pure accident, by accepting the situation and learning from the results.
For example, Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin after noticing the effects of a mold growth on some flu cultures.
He could have yelled at his assistants, punched the wall and peeled out of the parking lot in his Trans-Am in a fit of rage, but he didn't. He played it cool and won a Nobel Prize. Also, Trans-Ams hadn't been invented yet.
I wish I could be like Fleming because I'm terrified of failure.
During the past 10 years, I've had 18 jobs, most of them lasting no longer than a few weeks. I would go into the job like any other person, ready to make money and do what needs to be done. But that drive soon turned into fear and anxiety, and it wouldn't be long before I quit because I was too stressed out by my constant worrying about failure.
Now, I realize I was the one causing what I feared to happen - a self-fulfilling prophecy - but damn did it take a long time for me to realize that.
Just ask all the kitchen managers I've left without a fry cook during the Friday night dinner shift. I know one restaurant owner in Athens, Ala., who would probably pay a hefty bounty for any information on my current whereabouts.
I like to believe I'm more mature, more confident. Learning from my past mistakes is something I take seriously.
At least, I thought I did.
I took the Candidate Physical Ability Test, which is one of the first steps in becoming a firefighter, or student firefighter in my case, Saturday, June 22. I trained for this test, called the CPAT by all cool firemen, for three months. I even quit smoking-- cold turkey.
Dreams of a fitter, sexier version of myself were quite common. I would run into the burning building and come out with a gorgeous blonde on each arm. The dreams would then take a very different turn, but I won't burden you with the details, which are sexy.
I built up a wall of confidence, even though I almost passed out at all the CPAT practice sessions. Somehow, I just knew all the years of smoking, drinking, and bad food would melt off in three months, and the test would be a breeze.
But I failed.
That's what it's called, a failure.
One of the proctors even says "Failure!" when you make a test-ending mistake.
My confidence was gone, my fragile ego shattered. I spent the rest of the day and the next in bed eating way too much pizza and hating myself. All kinds of old anxieties and fears resurfaced.
It was not a pretty sight.
I was thinking about Fleming.
How was he able to stay calm and not crawl back in bed and go on a pizza
binge?
He didn't because he knew there is always something to be learned.
Not all mistakes are final.
From failing the CPAT, I've learned that I'm good at lying to myself. and, more importantly, I relearned failure is nothing to be afraid of.
Learning from failure is a good thing, even if the failure seems overwhelming.
You can learn from past mistakes, but it's also all right to make new mistakes to learn from. It's one of the ways we grow as people. Just as long as you don't wallow in defeat for too long, you can make the best of it and come back stronger.
Anyone who has ever had a penicillin shot for syphilis can attest to that.
They claim even when an experiment goes awry, or the results are unexpected, they are still able to gather useful data. Some of the best scientific discoveries have happened by pure accident, by accepting the situation and learning from the results.
For example, Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin after noticing the effects of a mold growth on some flu cultures.
He could have yelled at his assistants, punched the wall and peeled out of the parking lot in his Trans-Am in a fit of rage, but he didn't. He played it cool and won a Nobel Prize. Also, Trans-Ams hadn't been invented yet.
I wish I could be like Fleming because I'm terrified of failure.
During the past 10 years, I've had 18 jobs, most of them lasting no longer than a few weeks. I would go into the job like any other person, ready to make money and do what needs to be done. But that drive soon turned into fear and anxiety, and it wouldn't be long before I quit because I was too stressed out by my constant worrying about failure.
Now, I realize I was the one causing what I feared to happen - a self-fulfilling prophecy - but damn did it take a long time for me to realize that.
Just ask all the kitchen managers I've left without a fry cook during the Friday night dinner shift. I know one restaurant owner in Athens, Ala., who would probably pay a hefty bounty for any information on my current whereabouts.
I like to believe I'm more mature, more confident. Learning from my past mistakes is something I take seriously.
At least, I thought I did.
I took the Candidate Physical Ability Test, which is one of the first steps in becoming a firefighter, or student firefighter in my case, Saturday, June 22. I trained for this test, called the CPAT by all cool firemen, for three months. I even quit smoking-- cold turkey.
Dreams of a fitter, sexier version of myself were quite common. I would run into the burning building and come out with a gorgeous blonde on each arm. The dreams would then take a very different turn, but I won't burden you with the details, which are sexy.
I built up a wall of confidence, even though I almost passed out at all the CPAT practice sessions. Somehow, I just knew all the years of smoking, drinking, and bad food would melt off in three months, and the test would be a breeze.
But I failed.
That's what it's called, a failure.
One of the proctors even says "Failure!" when you make a test-ending mistake.
My confidence was gone, my fragile ego shattered. I spent the rest of the day and the next in bed eating way too much pizza and hating myself. All kinds of old anxieties and fears resurfaced.
It was not a pretty sight.
I was thinking about Fleming.
How was he able to stay calm and not crawl back in bed and go on a pizza
binge?
He didn't because he knew there is always something to be learned.
Not all mistakes are final.
From failing the CPAT, I've learned that I'm good at lying to myself. and, more importantly, I relearned failure is nothing to be afraid of.
Learning from failure is a good thing, even if the failure seems overwhelming.
You can learn from past mistakes, but it's also all right to make new mistakes to learn from. It's one of the ways we grow as people. Just as long as you don't wallow in defeat for too long, you can make the best of it and come back stronger.
Anyone who has ever had a penicillin shot for syphilis can attest to that.
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