From where I sit I think women today, particularly in the South, have it pretty darn good.
We are enjoying the steady spread of women's equality in the workplace, home and school system while still being treated like damsels in distress when it comes to our lifestyle.
Are we confused? Are we screaming to be treated equally while our actions are saying something else?
In a world of so-called gender equality, where do we differentiate between independence and chivalrous traditions?
Chivalry, a long time Southern tradition, has been defined as qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor and gallantry toward women.
For as long as I can remember, it has always been correct for men to open the door, pick up the tab and mow the lawn.
Even though the feminist movement brought the right to vote and the beginning of equal pay for women, our demands for independence have been shadowed by the fact that we still expect special treatment.
The interpretation of women's rights has been skewed.
Should we consider our rights and the way we clarify them to be all or nothing? Can we have our cake and it eat, too?
It seems like we are reaping all the benefits, without acknowledging the ideals that significant women of the past like Abigail Adams, Susan B. Anthony, Kate Chopin and many others have labored for.
Not only do we seem confused about how to incorporate these ideals into our lifestyle, but we are confusing the men as well.
They don't seem to know whether to offer to pay for our dinner or risk insulting us because we think we are independent enough to pay our own way. Don't get me wrong, having meals paid for and my groceries carried will be sorely missed.
But, in the name of women, I chose to embrace it and share my responsibilities.
In these modern times, chivalry comes with a certain formality not necessary in every situation.
When a guy friend picks me up for a run to the grocery store, I don't expect him to open my door.
As a matter of fact, it might be odd to receive such treatment.
On the other hand, it is more common for a guy to open the door for a more formal occasion.
But, if for whatever reason he overlooked this "responsibility," I certainly would not take offense.
I can only guess the best possible solution comes in the rule of halves. We can only be considered truly equal if we split the check, open our own doors and share the responsibilities.
If you know how to do certain "manly" jobs like cut the grass, fix the sink and use a power drill, go for it.
And if all else fails, don't throw your manners out the window.
Follow the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.
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