The word "depression" has a stigma that makes people feel uncomfortable to speak aloud; however, this whisper in the dark is one of the most widespread mental illnesses affecting individuals today.
In any six-month period, 9.4 million Americans suffer from this disease. One in four women and one in 10 men can expect to develop it during their lifetime, according to Mental Health America.
To bring this common secret out of the darkness, Ansley Monroe, senior in psychology, has come forth to bring alight her story, as she has battled depression throughout her college years.
Her story creates a face for depression, so others may feel comforted that the reflection in the mirror is far from alone.
Monroe grew up in a loving and supportive family with one younger sister. Her hobbies included singing, cheerleading and soccer. She was a great student and daughter however, she described her childhood years as "shy and sheltered, yet fun."
"Never in a million years did I think I'd become depressed," Monroe said.
Though she experienced family deaths as a teenager, her first emotional downturn occurred from a long-term, high school boyfriend.
"At one point I thought he was going to hit me," she said. "I was emotionally abused by him."
Once she moved out of the house and on from a bad relationship, college allowed her to break from her shell and become more outgoing.
Monroe began dating another boy, Alex, and spent most of her freshman through junior year with him. Her relationship with her parents then became rocky.
Tensions were created, and the relationship ended pushing her out of her comfort zone, Monroe said.
During this time, she began seeing a psychiatrist and started developing signs of depression.
Then, in Monroe's sophomore year, she experienced trauma that began a spiraling cycle of depression episodes.
Lauren Burk, Monroe's sorority little sister and close friend from high school, was abducted on campus and murdered.
"I was in a state of disbelief and confusion," Monroe said.
Steven Shapiro, associate professor of psychology, said a depressed individual's body and mind awill not allow them to function or do the things they want to do.
He further explained these individuals express their disorder in different ways. "In addition to a persistent depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure, other expressions could include unintentional weight changes, sleep disturbances, feelings of agitation, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, concentration problems and thoughts of suicide," Shapiro said.
After Burk's death, Monroe began struggling in classes and became unmotivated to even attend.
"From fighting with my parents over Alex to Lauren's death and a couple of unexpected family deaths, I couldn't find a way to emotionally cope," Monroe said.
Even though the psychiatrist saw signs of depression before Burk's death, this event made the signs become more evident, particularly to Monroe.
Initially, she didn't believe she was suffering from clinical depression, but rather grieving as any normal person. After several months, she was unable to work through the emotion.
Reflecting back, she said her depression was characterized by not being able to snap out of lows. "I was in consistent sadness for a year and a half," Monroe said. "I'd feel bad when there was nothing to feel bad about, and I couldn't seem to stop it."
She further described depression as affecting her emotionally, mentally and physically.
Sarah Neeley, hospice nurse for more than 20 years at Alive Hospice in Nashville, Tenn., said depression is caused by changes in the brain's chemicals.
"Because depression is a complex medical problem, no one easy answer exists," Neeley said. "It may occur from external trauma, medication or health disorders."
According to the 2008 American College Health Association survey, almost 15 percent of students reported were diagnosed with depression. Of those students, approximately 25 percent were in therapy for depression and 37 percent were taking medication for depression.
Monroe began seeing a counselor at the Auburn Student Counseling Services.
She takes a couple of different types of medication, including Zoloft. She has tried to stop taking her medication, but finds herself immediately becoming irritable toward others.
It has been two years since Burk's murder, and Monroe said her actions still show signs of depression. At times, she finds herself staying in bed all day, not being motivated in class and lacking energy.
"It's hard to understand depression when you've never had it," Monroe said. "I'm OK to talk about it now and am not embarrassed by it as I was at one point."
Neeley said depression is a topic not easily discussed in our society.
"We still believe the depressed person can just get better and do better," she said. "We need to stop blaming the depressed for their disease."
Monroe said her friends are uplifting.
She hangs out with her friends often. Many of them don't know she deals with depression.
"I try to hide it," she said.
Fortunately, of her friends that do know, she said she does not feel judged.
"Depression doesn't define me," Monroe said. "It's something I have to deal with on a daily basis, and that's fine. Everyone has their secrets."
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