Breastful surprise from Playboy

I've always hated Playboy.

I lumped it in with porn and strippers as a sexist's bread and butter.

I couldn't understand why any person would need to see that much bare breast.

Needless to say when Playboy's "Girls of the SEC" casting call came to Auburn, I was eager to prove a point.

I emailed Cathy Walker, Playboy's junior publicist, and she quickly sent me a press release with directions.

I immediately started conjuring up an idea of what the casting call would be like.

On TV, Playboy-related events involve girls walking around in skimpy bunny suits serving eager-looking men in smoking jackets.

I figured it would be similar to that, except all the women would be naked and all the men would be greasy old perverts with peeping chest hair.

All week I debated whether or not to wear a push-up bra.

I didn't want to be sized up, but I figured I would be anyway, so I'd better look good.

The morning of the event, I was trying to find any excuse not to go, but I was determined to prove a point.

I drove to the Lexington Hotel and Conference Center and parked near the lobby.

I expected to see life-sized cutouts of naked women placed around the lobby, but it was empty. A woman at the front desk immediately directed me to Room 146.

I felt my hands begin to shake. I didn't understand why it was in a hotel room. Was I going to be trapped and made to drop trou?

I walked to the back of the hotel and heard laughter coming from an open room.

Three girls were sitting in hotel chairs fully dressed.

I nervously introduced myself to the group.

Maria Hagen, Playboy magazine's photo stylist, invited me in.

Hagen was nothing like what I expected.

She was outgoing, pretty and extremely well-spoken. Nothing about her was sleazy or perverted.

To my surprise, she asked if I was planning to audition.

I laughed, assuming she was kidding, but she wasn't

I was startled.

Why would she want me to audition?

I'm not tall, big-breasted or leggy.

Then I turned to my right, and notice the girls about to audition were just as nervous about posing as I would be.

They weren't slutty bimbos looking to be degraded by men. They just wanted to do something exciting.

I became intrigued about what "Girls of the SEC" was really about.

I flipped through their last edition and to my surprise, it wasn't what I expected.

There were actually more articles than nudity.

The biggest surprise was their choice of women.

I expected them all to be sticks with huge fake breasts and bleach blond hair, but they were all shapes, sizes and colors.

I realized I had never actually opened up a Playboy magazine, and I had judged them without doing my research.

I still don't know why that much breast is needed outside of a breast feeding seminar, but now I think the girls auditioning are just normal girls, and not just a sexist's fantasy.