Girls gripe about the lack of initiative coming from guys who are too shy or just too lazy to ask them on a proper date. They blame their perpetual singledom on boys who just can’t work up the nerve to break through the friendship zone. So, sororities have schemed up an event that is perfectly designed to give girls an excuse to get dressed up and dance with dudes. In the dating culture of the South, these organizations provide an opportunity that gives them their one and only chance to make the first move: formal.
Finally, they are able to single out the guy they’ve had their eye on for so long and take him on a magical night that will culminate in a whirlwind romance! Finally, all their complaints will come to an end and they can express interest in the cardigan-clad cutie in their chemistry lab!
This is their chance to make dreams come true. But, inexplicably, that’s not what happens. Girls wait around in terror, doodling their crush’s name in the margin of their notebook, but never make a move.
It’s time to rise up, ladies. Formal season is looming (and for you non-Greeks, there’s always the Honors ball). Start using this opportunity to its fullest potential. Kelsie Nussel, recent Auburn graduate and seasoned formal-goer, has offered her advice in hopes that our readers will avoid making the same mistakes she did.
1. Look past your best guy friend.
One of the biggest mistakes girls make is inviting their token ‘guy friend’’— the one who has been passed around the sorority like a good cupcake pan. They take guys who have been permanently friend-zoned, precisely because they pose no romantic threat. Nussel admits to having fallen victim to this behavior during her senior year. But, she claims, there was a time when she mustered up the moxie to do it right.
“Sophomore year I asked boys I liked and had crushes on.” Nussel said. “Multiple times. Multiple boys. Sometimes it was the same boy multiple times. At that point I had my list of boys who I thought were cute. The cute boys, the nice boys and the boys I knew but wanted to get to know better.”
2. Take a risk.
Formals are a chance to take a risk under the guise of being casual. Pick someone who makes you vaguely nauseated at the thought of approaching. Arm yourself with the reminder that what you’re going to say to him is “want to join me for a fun night of dancing?” even if what you’re thinking is “will you promise to grow old with me?”
3. Go in blind.
Maybe there isn’t a single man on the horizon that you can bear the thought of spending an evening with. At some point in our college careers, we’ve all felt this way. Don’t use this as license to stop looking, though; use it as an opportunity to go blind. The beauty of a blind date is in its presumed informality. You guys are just getting to know each other, even if you have used his Facebook thumbnail to photoshop pictures of what your children would look like.
“If you have a sorority sister that’s from Birmingham and knows half of Auburn, get her to set you up,” Nussel said. “That’s what I did freshman year to get to know boys.”
4. Settle for the story.
Even if you hit every item on our checklist to guarantee a flawless night, it could still go wrong. Maybe you run out of things to say in the first couple minutes of the ride there or a dance battle turns violent. Nussel advised to keep in mind that romance is not the only positive outcome of a formal date.
“It could end in a boyfriend or a really, really good story,” she said. “I feel like I have more stories than boyfriends.”
To Johnny: Formal? Fannie Mae
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