Do you have advice on how to feel comfortable around new friends?
Everyone goes through changes in friend groups, setting or location at some point in their life. For a lot of people, however, the first big change is moving to their college town. One thing you need to keep in mind as you dive into your new community is the importance of being yourself.
Yes, it can be extremely awkward introducing yourself to new people. You try to make conversation about extracurriculars or favorite TV shows. As you eat free food from a student org event, you might find yourself making an unfunny joke or laughing in the fakest way possible. These surface-level interactions probably won’t hold a lot of weight in the moment, but they can lead to deeper friendships. Push through the awkwardness and don’t criticize yourself too much. It’s a process. Sometimes the best friends come from the most unexpected and random places.
Be honest with others about your personality. Most people feed off each other’s energy, and you will attract people who are similar to you. Take the opportunity to reinvent yourself or get a fresh start if you need it. You don’t have to be the same person you were in high school, and maybe you can bond with people over new hobbies or interests.
It seems like everyone meets their best friends on the first day; because they want you to think that. No one is going to post pictures with the caption “got a few leads on a college best friend” or “I really hope this person likes me as much as I like them.” Rome wasn’t built in a day. Even if you “meet” the person that becomes your best friend on the first day, it still takes time for them to become a meaningful presence in your life.
Patience is key, as well as endurance. Those might seem like serious words to use when talking about something as lighthearted as friends. Upfront, you have to put in some work, and you need to be as authentic as possible when searching. This way, your output will be most meaningful to you, and your friendships will have a strong, legitimate foundation.
Meander into the friendships and let them grow. You will not be disappointed as long as you choose to keep trying and keep being authentic. Don’t be afraid to change lanes, try something new or be spontaneous. Before long, you could find yourself in the back seat laughing with a hodge-podge group of newfound friends listening to “Unwritten” at full volume on the way to Buc-ee’s at 1 a.m. Well, maybe not exactly that situation, but you get the picture.
Even when it feels like you are unsuccessful and exhaustedly wandering, be yourself. One of the beauties of attending a university with 33,015 people is that you will find what you look for. Be open-minded and don’t judge a book by its cover. The Auburn Family encapsulates so much, and you will find your people and your place when you put in the effort to search.
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Sami Grace Donnelly, senior in English literature, began writing for the Plainsman in the fall of 2021. She has served as a columnist, writer abroad, Opinion Editor, managing editor and is now Editor-in-Chief of the Plainsman.
