Dear Lane,
Gosh, this is kinda awk. So, I guess my boyfriend is a pretty trendy guy or whatever — it's cool. Most of the time, he dresses pretty well. But he is a big fan of the "deep v." REALLY deep v's.
I haven't commented on that life choice or criticized it. Yet. But I may have to speak up now. The other day, he comes over to my apartment, and he's wearing his favorite immodest clothing item. No big deal.
Except this time, it is a big deal because HE WAS WEARING ONE OF MY V NECKS. What the heck. I didn't say anything to him then, ‘cause he can get pretty defensive when it comes to his fashion choices.
So, I stifled my laughter and decided I'd write you, Lane, and see what your thoughts on this are. Do I say, "Hey babe, you can't wear my shirts." Or, part of me wonders if he is oblivious to the fact that it's not his shirt?
Maybe he can't tell the difference! Ahh! Whatever it is, I definitely don't won't to start sharing my clothes with my boyfriend. As awkward as this is, I think it might be a good chance to have a deep v inter-Vention with him. What do you think?
Sincerely,
A concerned girlfriend
Dear Concerned Girlfriend,
Let’s take a step back and look at this rationally, because there are a few factors you should bear in mind before you deliver an ultimatum.
The first one is financial. We’re in an economic recession and, despite how glamorous it may have seemed in the Great Gatsby, these days it’s marked by high unemployment and even higher levels of sartorial resourcefulness. In an economy that does not allow a humble college student to purchase the latest in fall fashion, it becomes necessary to get a little creative. For me, that means stealthily siphoning clothes out of my sister’s closet.
For your boyfriend, it means doubling his v-neck collection and trying out some fun feminine patterns. You should applaud your boyfriend’s frugality.
The second thing to consider is fairness. All girlfriends have one thing in common and it’s that, in seventh grade, we decided there was nothing more adorable than swaddling ourselves in our boyfriend’s oversized clothing. You’ve stolen sweatshirts, hats, wristwatches, Tshirts and a little bit of cash (but it was probably for an emergency.)
Your pillaging has left him with barely a stitch to his name, so you can’t blame him when he comes pawing through your closet for something to keep him warm as the temperature continues to drop. And, okay, there were probably more modest options in one of the seven drawers you have laden with XXXL T-shirts.
You have to choose your battles, and this one seems pretty harmless.
Give your boy a break — but if he moves on to the rest of your wardrobe, it might be time to have a talk about where this relationship is going.
Love,
Lane
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