In "American Pie" (the song, not the movie starring that guy from "A Kid in King Arthur's Court"), Don McLean dubbed the death of Buddy Holly "The Day the Music Died."
I disagree.
Although he was a major musical influence, since the death of Buddy Holly, the world has been blessed with musicians like Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, and The Rolling Stones, all of which produced hit singles.
Music actually died the day Nickelback's 2002 album, "Silver Side Up," went platinum six times, making Nickelback the most popular band in the United States/world.
Brilliant new bands like Radiohead, Wilco, and The Shins have been donning white cloaks and stethoscopes to try to save the music, but until Nickelback loses its popularity, music cannot be resuscitated.
Allow me to place my dislike for Nickelback into perspective.
If Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback, held a press conference at which he made the statement: "I like to eat food," I would begin refusing meals until I eventually starved to death.
For those of you who don't already know, Nickelback is a Canadian band (That's strike two, Canada. You already gave us Brendan Fraser.) who classifies its music in the alternative genre, which previously meant an alternative to radio rock.
Nickelback, however, is the president (or prime minister, I guess) of the radio.
Although the band completely lacks songwriting talent, both lyrically and melodically, I wouldn't be upset with the band members if I thought it was the best they could do.
However, my dislike for the band is warranted by its utter lack of songwriting effort.
According to a 2002 Rolling Stone interview, Kroeger wrote the Nickelback hit "How You Remind Me" in 10 minutes.
In the time it takes you and I to boil water, Nickelback wrote a hit song. Ironically, I would rather drink boiling water than listen to this song.
Someone might say, "Griffin, doesn't the ability to make a hit song in 10 minutes display their brilliance?"
I would respond by telling you "yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no" is a documented lyric for the song. You be the judge.
If "How You Remind Me" took 10 minutes to write, I imagine Nickelback's new smash single, "Something in Your Mouth," took under five (chorus="You're so much cooler when you never pull it out, 'Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth").
I thought Nickelback had maxed out its lack of songwriting effort. Congratulations, Nickelback! You proved me wrong.
Fans of Nickelback may defend their beloved Canadian rockers with a statement like, "Don't hate the player, hate the game."
For starters, I hate this saying (I also hate the saying "for starters").
The game is music, which I love, so it looks like I'm forced to hate the player.
So, I propose a musical coup d'etat.
As consumers in a capitalistic society, we control what is popular.
Why not support quality music, further encouraging better music to be made? We've done it before with bands like The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, who had multiple hits, and I think it's time to make a statement once again.
Until we support more talented bands, a guitar case will remain nothing more than a coffin.
Do you like this story? The Plainsman doesn't accept money from tuition or student fees, and we don't charge a subscription fee. But you can donate to support The Plainsman.
