The last time I checked we lived in a free country. So, why does it cost so much to live here?
My lame joke is an attempted criticism of the economic meltdown my bank account has been experiencing the last few months.
This wasn't caused by the stock market plunge or billion dollar bailouts for companies I'd never heard of until CNN's correspondent made me feel like a Google search was appropriate. I did it to myself, and I can't for the life of me figure out where all the money went. Let me clarify. I've never had an overflowing account by any means, just enough to buy a few Ramen packets and go on an occasional Q. outing.
The drain might have been caused by road trips, weddings and spring break, but those were strictly medicinal and should be covered by my insurance. Without them my mental health would be severely compromised.
I'm not rolling in the dough from my job at the P.Man, nor do I have time for another job at the moment. I mean, finals are like right around the corner. So, I've decided to draft a bailout plan for all the po' college kids like myself. I believe President Obama would totally support it. It's going to go a little something like this:
WHEREAS: College students attend their classes on a semi-regular basis, and
WHEREAS: College can be considered employment in itself, without the pay, and
WHEREAS: The economy sucks and all the people who would have full-time jobs are now taking all the part-time jobs, which are normally reserved for underqualified college students, and
WHEREAS: Minimum wage doesn't cover the bills and the much needed Wednesday night Q. visit, and
WHEREAS: College students can't work, because when would they fit in their daily nap, and
WHEREAS: The college students who don't need jobs, because Mommy and Daddy give them whatever they need, are taking the few jobs available because they need something to do with their time, and
WHEREAS: Getting ahead in college means slacking in nutrition, and
WHEREAS: College students get screwed by every rental, utility and car repair business in town,
LET IT BE RESOLVED that students needing a little petty cash can dip into the "College students who need a little cash" fund.
If mulit-billion dollar companies can get a bailout, so should we. I have yet to decide what the actual monetary value of the bailout will be, but I'm sure it'll be nowhere near the $85 billion AIG got.
Obama ran on a platform of change, and I want mine in $100 bills.
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