One may have formerly heard a friend say, “Whoa, back off! Physical touch is NOT my love language!” It’s true, everyone has a love language that means the most to them. The fact of the matter is that humans tend to both give love and receive love in different ways.
There are five different ways that human beings enjoy receiving love from others. They are: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts and physical touch. Generally, every person may have a little bit of each type in them, but usually, there are one or two love languages that stand out among the rest.
Those that love words of affirmation enjoy receiving encouraging words from a partner or others in their lives that they love. This could be through hearing audible words or even receiving a meaningful letter or text message. These people treasure the beauty of both thoughtful and meaningful verbiage greater than any other form of satisfaction.
People that have the love language of quality time would rather spend genuine moments with those they care about than hear encouraging words from them or another specific kind of comfort. Time is the most valuable entity to them, even if it is simply sitting in a room together with that person.
Those that claim acts of service as the way they feel most loved, appreciate when those around them serve in sweet and unexpected ways. This could be any kind of selfless act that shows the other they honestly care and are thinking of them.
People that enjoy receiving gifts see the value of thoughtfulness. People with this love language find it special that their partner, family member, or friend has thought of something genuine and special, purchased it, and given it to them.
People that relish the feeling of personal contact appreciate the love language of physical touch. These people enjoy even the simplicity that is a warm hug or brushing against the hand of a new love interest. They are usually not ones to care about having personal space, and they often show love in a similar way like giving hugs to those they love.
In fact, most people that have come to recognize their own love languages tend to show love in this same way. For example, someone whose love language is words of affirmation and appreciates hearing the words, “I’m proud of you,” from their mom may also in turn enjoy writing personalized notes or letters to friends on birthdays to show they care.
Claire Martin, freshman in animal sciences, shared that her love language test results were no surprise to her. Martin's top two love languages were words of affirmation and quality time. Martin explained that she has always been the type of person who enjoys hearing reassuring words, and any time spent with those she loves is valuable to her.
Similarly, Martin noticed that her boyfriend’s love language was also quality time.
“Like myself, he cherishes time spent together no matter what we do. Seeing each other multiple times a week is crucial to us." Martin said, "Talking over the phone is good sometimes, but we prefer speaking and connecting when we are physically together."
Bridget Catalano, senior in marketing, took the love languages test for the first time recently. Similarly, she was not very shocked after finding her top results were quality time and physical touch. When asked what Catalano thought her boyfriend’s love language was, she did not have to think twice.
“His is definitely quality time." Catalano said, "I know that spending time together doing things we enjoy is super important. We love trying new restaurants, going outside to do something active, or attending and watching any kind of sports."
Not only is it beneficial to acknowledge one’s own love language, but discovering the love language of those that one loves is a beautiful way to love them in return. This shows thoughtfulness as someone would have to be intentional to both figure this out and then put this type of love into action solely because they know their partner appreciates it most.
“Finding out a love language is an excellent way to learn what makes your loved one feel special and appreciated. Knowing this can also help you connect on a deeper and more personal level,” Martin said.
If anyone does not know their love language and would like to find out, all they have to do is go to 5lovelanguages.com. This website includes a simple 30-question quiz that will eventually give them their own specific percentages for each of the five love language categories.
“I think the test in general is great for people to understand what is important to them in a relationship!" Catalano said, "I think this could be super beneficial for people looking to strengthen their relationships by spending some time reflecting on what’s important to them."
The simple truth is that humans both give love and receive love in different ways. While it is helpful to know one’s own love language, it can also be helpful to learn the love languages of the people surrounding them. This knowledge can be beneficial for learning to love people in the best way possible that will mean the most to them and make them the happiest.
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