The final part of adventuring abroad is coming home. Oftentimes, this portion of the journey gets overlooked, but I want to focus on it and speak to it as I close out my mini-series for studying abroad.
Even though I had been looking forward to seeing my loved ones, eating American food and speaking in English for months, coming back home was surprisingly difficult for me. Beyond exhaustion from travel, I found myself feeling very out of place.
One of my friends who also did a semester abroad told me that coming back is like having a sticker, peeling it off the sheet, wearing it on a sweater for a few months and then trying to put it back on the sticker sheet. Another one of my friends said she felt very “behind” and noticed how a lot of things had shifted since her departure.
Personally, I was overwhelmed at everyone speaking English because I had heard and spoken minimal English in my time in Spain. The town I lived in did not have a lot of English speakers, which was great for helping me improve Spanish-speaking abilities but posed a challenge for adjusting to life back in the U.S.
My first night back at dinner, I found myself forgetting words and feeling that my English vocabulary had undergone atrophy, and it was a bit embarrassing. To this day in grocery stores, I find myself wanting to say “perdón” instead of “excuse me.”
I should have given myself a little more grace at the start though. One of my role models (who also took a semester abroad when she was in college) told me that it takes a while for your brain to reach equilibrium after such a different, stressful or overwhelming experience.
I was seriously underestimating the energy my adventures abroad had required from me, and it honestly took me about two or three months to feel fully acclimated back to life in the U.S.
The first point you need to remember for yourself, your friend, sibling or anyone else who has studied abroad is that coming home requires grace, patience and time. You’re not going to just snap back into place, and you will probably be changed in a way you will never forget — simply from experiencing another part of the world.
Another phenomenon I encountered was feeling the “guilty pleasures” of life in the U.S. Our country is far from perfect, but there is a reason so many people want to immigrate here. Honestly, I didn’t see another country that compared to the size and scale of our grocery stores, the number of jobs and careers we can choose from, the patriotism people have or the sheer amount of space and infrastructure we maintain.
I felt grateful, and I came to understand the privilege of being born and living in the United States. Having English as a first language is one of the greatest gifts, and I met so many people who were trying so hard to learn it. Growing up speaking one of the most international languages is such a useful skill and something to be very grateful for.
Having the infrastructure of highways, air conditioning or modern buildings is something I had taken for granted. And even though the winding, cobblestone streets and small cafés are enchanting, there comes a point in everyone’s summer that air conditioning is desired, and there comes a time in everyone’s appetite that some fast-food is exactly what we crave.
I talked with a variety of people from a variety of European countries, and many of them remarked on the “power” or “greatness” of the United States, not for reasons of domination or violence but because of the lives citizens can live there. When I was fully immersed in the Spanish and European culture, I saw and appreciated the things that were different, but I also realized and treasured what a privilege it is to live in the United States. Even though we have things to work on as a country, the freedoms and opportunities we have ought to never be overlooked.
On top of gratitude, I felt changed by the things that I had seen and the places I had been. The U.S. has never experienced or had to recover from a dictatorship. The continental U.S. has never been bombed to bits during wartime. There is a different attitude and feeling that you can pick up on once you look past all the amazing, historical architecture of Europe.
When I got back to the U.S., I spoke to one of the women who really encouraged me to study abroad and “make use” of the opportunity I had to see the world. After telling her my stories and listening to her insight, I remember her telling me “it changes you, seeing all that.”
“All that” isn’t necessarily studying abroad in Europe, but I think “all that” is a lifestyle, culture and fully functioning part of the world that I was totally ignorant of before. Simply seeing a different part of the world was eye-opening and helped me realize that there are so many human experiences in existence. Awareness is very important and valuable, as it is a starting place for compassion, gratitude and even connection.
There is such a variety of people, places, cultures and lives; and we need to keep that in mind when we consider our own lives and the opportunities and privileges we have. It doesn’t matter how long you experienced being abroad, another part of the world will change your perspective for the better. It will make you more aware, observant and appreciative; and hopefully, it will compel you to use your privilege in a good way.
There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of lessons I learned from studying abroad; but I have shared three of the most important: the grace you ought to give yourself, the gratitude you ought to have for your home country and the change you will see in yourself.
If you had the opportunity to study abroad recently, I encourage you to sit down and contemplate your experience; maybe write down some of your thoughts about it. Consider the privilege you have and the lessons you learned. You chose to study abroad for an experience, so analyze it. Let it permeate who you are and affect who you want to be as you re-enter life in the United States.
Do you like this story? The Plainsman doesn't accept money from tuition or student fees, and we don't charge a subscription fee. But you can donate to support The Plainsman.
Sami Grace Donnelly, senior in English literature, began writing for the Plainsman in the fall of 2021. She has served as a columnist, writer abroad, Opinion Editor, managing editor and is now Editor-in-Chief of the Plainsman.
