At Auburn, I experienced my first introduction to Southern dating culture.
The intricacies of it fascinated me. Talking about the dating process with seasoned (if not always successful) veterans, it seemed formulaic. The first date should be conversation heavy. If it's with someone you don't know well, take her out during the day for coffee or buy her lunch. If you're comfortable enough to stare at her over a plate of lasagna for an hour, you can ask her to dinner.
The leap from the first date to the second date is the biggest. The gentleman ask her over the phone or in person. The lady, at this point, can politely decline without any hard feelings. If she agrees to a second date, it's your chance to show your free spirit and poetic soul with a more creative date option. At this point, there's no turning back.
You ask her on the third date, which you both know she'll say yes to. On the third date, experts agree, it is finally acceptable to kiss her.
At first this stunned me. It appeared that love was no longer driven by heartfelt passion but by a three-step plan for success. It seemed like a numbers game for the guys: use this strategy on every girl that comes your way and one of them is bound to stick. As I've grown more accustomed to this dating culture, however, I've realized that the perks of this system can work both ways if we let it.
That's the hitch, though. These boys are working up the courage to ask a girl out and girls are turning them down. The excuses vary, from "I'm not in the place for a relationship right now" to "I really just see you as a friend."
This sort of behavior demonstrates a misinformed notion of what the purpose of a date does. People don't seem to understand that the simplest function of dating is not to declare undying love to the object of your affections. It's not even to say, "Hey, I have made up my mind to pursue a romantic relationship with you." Dating is a chance to find out if there could be something there or not.
There's a fine line between being serious about dating and taking yourself too seriously. It's an strange and sometimes intimidating institution, but you've got to use it to your advantage.
So guys, ask her out. Girls, say yes!
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