Last week, as you all may have seen, Stephen Colbert, in a skit so risible as to be outdone only by the ridiculousness of the Citizen's United Supreme Court decision Colbert has long mocked, transferred control of his Super-PAC to fellow satirist and "business partner" Jon Stewart before announcing he was "forming an exploratory committee to lay the groundwork for [his] possible candidacy for the president of the United States of South Carolina!"
Having a looksee at the current crop of GOP candidates (minus the dearly departed yet flawed Huntsman), a sane voter of even conservative lean may just wonder whether Colbert is actually a bigger joke than what's available.
There is, of course, the Former Texas Governor and Wyatt Earp impersonator Rick Perry. I need only point you in the direction of YouTube for you to see why this man should not be in the race.
The latest and my guess last anti-Romney of the campaign, Rick Santorum has had--to put it as mildly as one can--some rather distasteful words for America's LGBT community and for gay marriage. Words that have earned Santorum a special place in Google lore and words that bring to mind that scene in Hamlet: "The Lady doth protest too much, methinks."
Then there is the former Speaker of the House and moral pontificator Newt Gingrich. A man who himself is on his third wife (he happened to be cheating on one while leading the crusade for Clinton's impeachment) and who not too long ago provided what seemed to be a Colbert-esque joke by seriously stating that "most of these [failing] schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school." I had thought that they settled that issue in 1938.
Ron Paul, champion of the Libertarian cause--to his credit--consistently for decades, has been taken more seriously than ever this season. His belief in wholly unfettered capitalism, a dangerous belief in isolationist foreign policy, some racist newsletters from back in the day, and his general un-presidential demeanor and age prevent him from being a good alternative to Mitt.
As for Mitt, he may never have been the flavor of the week, but like Vanilla he's consistent, perhaps not in his views, but at least in the polls and it may be that consistency that earns him the nominee.
He is not without his own craziness, however. There was that thing he said about "corporations being people." Which, if you've watched Colbert or this race for that matter, you know is just about as crazy as anything the other candidates have said. Colbert claims to want to be president of the United States of South Carolina, but how is that any different from what the other candidates claim to want?
Zachary Welman
freshman, English and philosophy
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