Most people will tell you I’m not a patient person. I don’t like waiting in line, for people to answer texts, almost anything.
That’s right. Almost.
There’s one thing I’m waiting for, and it’s pretty important.
I’m waiting until marriage.
When I say that sentence to people, I receive a mix of responses, usually positive though.
“Wow, that’s pretty cool. Good for you.”
“I wish I had done that.”
“Why?”
I like it when people ask me why I’m waiting the most. I can explain that it’s more than a religious thing — though that’s definitely why I decided to wait in the first place.
In the Catholic Church, we are taught to wait until marriage to have sex because sex was created by God to be a complete exchange of self between two people. We believe exchange should only happen with the person you are joined with forever — your spouse.
Waiting until marriage also falls in line with the Ninth Commandment — “You shall not covet your neighbor’s spouse.” By having sex outside of marriage, you could be coveting, or possessing, someone else’s husband or wife.
However, waiting to have sex goes beyond my Catholicism and what I was told in Sunday school. I want to get to know a man on a level beyond physical attraction, and taking sex off the table helps with that.
Without sex in the picture, I can develop friendships based off shared interests and good conversation instead of physical qualities.
Whether you’re religious or not, sex is an intimate act. It should be shared by people who care deeply about each other and trust each other. I think the best way to show that is by committing to them forever, and in college, almost nothing is permanent.
I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t always been easy.
Waiting until marriage has affected some relationships, hanging over them like an ominous cloud. Sometimes, when I say no to sex, guys just disappear.
I do not regret any of it though; if anything, it has helped give me a clearer sense of what I want in a future relationship and the type of man I want to marry.
Waiting for marriage might not be for everyone. But if you’re confused about the type of relationship you want or you’re sick of the typical hookup culture, try abstaining from sex for a while.
It’s never too late to start waiting for your future spouse. Focus on yourself and clear your mind, and the results might surprise you.
I’ve heard saving yourself from marriage is an outdated practice that hearkens from a time where people often got married in their teens so they weren’t waiting for a long time. I’m here to say it can still be a modern practice.
I still engage in typical college-kid behaviors. I enjoy going out with my friends and meeting people, male and female.
At the end of the night, though, I only want to go home with the girlfriends I came with.
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