The recent Louvre heist was astonishingly simple; it was completed with an extendable ladder, some traffic cones, an angle grinder and eight minutes. It is astonishing how simple it was for a few unknown perpetrators to infiltrate one of the world's most renowned museums.
After reading how exceptionally basic the theft maneuvers were, complete with glamorously civilian scooter escapes, I hope I am not alone in enjoying a fleeting fantasy of high-profile art espionage. It is significantly more exciting to imagine a heist Hollywood style, complete with million-dollar getaway cars, invisible lasers to avoid, intense shootouts and betrayals and an arch-nemesis detective one step behind you.
Unfortunately, it turns out that all you need to infiltrate one of the most prestigious museums in the world to steal priceless historical jewelry tracing back to the First French Empire is a traffic cone and ladder. How boring!
Compared to cinematic portrayals, reality once again leaves the dreamer deeply deflated. I was left to wonder if all art is subject to such low standards of thievery. So, after a bit more research, here is a compilation of some more "edge of your seat" heists that make the Louvre heist appear bleak to their standards. They may not exactly be worth calling Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney, but they certainly give the art heist traditionalist a more cinematic experience.
3. The Theft of "The Scream," Norway National Museum
The Norway National Museum in Oslo prided itself on high security and a refined variety of art. That is, until May 1994, when in place of heroic drop-in, the heisters showed up with a ladder and a smashed window. It seems to be as dreary as the recent Louvre case, yet intrigue ensued. As the thieves made their escape, they left a note, reading, “Thousand thanks for the poor security.” I must give these thieves a bit more creative credit. Despite lacking a theatrical entrance or elaborate ploy, these heisters stole a world-renowned Munch, currenly worth $120 million, in only 50 seconds, and they even managed to leave a note taunting the bewildered museum officials. Points awarded for unnecessary yet skillful revenge.
2. Manchester Museum Heist
This heist, while it lacks a laser-avoiding, skylight-dropping entrance, could inspire an indie film following the unknown thieves who stole three works by Picasso, Van Gogh and Gauguin only to leave them tucked behind a public toilet 200 yards away from the museum. To add insult to injury, they also left a note, reading, “We did not intend to steal these paintings, just to highlight a breach in security.” A reader can imagine how the museum officials must have felt, frustrated and relieved all at once, and they have since vowed to beef up security measures. This heist takes the cake on uniqueness, but some skeptics wonder whether the thieves were really skilled enough for such elaborate commentary or if they panicked and rid themselves of the evidence while they could. Either way, the amateurs got away and are still yet to be discovered.
1. Transy Book Heist, Transylvania University
Led by four students at Transylvania University in 2004, this heist reaches cinematic level, maybe not in the action thriller but perhaps a coming-of-age comedy. The students were planning on stealing highly valuable works, such as the original Darwin's "On The Origin of Species," which were housed in their university's special collection library. They attempted the heist the first time with fake mustaches and wigs but fled in the face of strange looks from fellow students and tried again days later. This time, they arrived undisguised and tased the librarian (though it did not exactly have their desired effect; she began to scream instead of fainting). The students then fled to New York to sell the books on the black market but were exposed by using the same email to contract the deal as they used to make their library appointment. They even used their personal phone numbers to contact black market buyers. After crafting an impressive ploy to sell the books to Amsterdam buyers, they were ultimately caught by the amateur mistakes and sentenced to seven years each. This heist includes all the essential elements of a great heist film: months of planning, a high intensity FBI hunt and success that depended on their coherence as a group. Though there was no need for stunt doubles, these four college students almost managed to pull off a high-value, high-intrigue heist that would have left dozens of valuable books lost to the world of underground buyers.
So it turns out that most art heists, even in the renowned museums such as the Louvre, are normally much blander than the movies, with the star characters using everyday tools and stick-on mustaches to succeed. Even if they aren’t the most resemblant of "Oceans 11," these three heists each tell an interesting story that leaves a reader to wonder more about these amateurs motives, stories and futures.
I want to note that these rankings do not by any means reflect this authors belief that art theft is a trivial matter; it is not. The fact that these crimes are so easy to commit, and so often occurring, hints at societal greed, our ability to flaunt a false sense of security and a take-for-gain mentality. Perhaps we can all learn a little bit more about the unprotected pedestal we put art on from the trivial methods of these unconventional art heists, which are so uncinematic it should be a crime.
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