For the boys who dream of taking Megan Fox to dinner, be careful what you wish for.
In this scenario, you will wind up being the main course in Fox's meal plan.
"Megan's Body," or excuse me, "Jennifer's Body" is a horror movie about demonic possession in a high school girl, Megan Fox, with a couple of one-liners thrown in there from dialogue provided by the acclaimed Juno writer, Diablo Cody.
This movie starts out with promise in flashback mode in the mental institution with a powerful kick to the face.
It comes to an abrupt halt with a fire scene in a bar where Jennifer and Needy, Amanda Seyfried (the dumbest plastic from Mean Girls), go to watch a band play and the least expected happens.
Somehow Jennifer ends up in a child-molester van in the middle of the woods with an up-and-coming band that offers her up to the devil for success while ironically singing Tommy Tutone's "867-5309."
(On a side note, this may explain how bands like Nickleback and Hinder are famous.) But something goes wrong and she comes back a flesh-eating monster that preys on boys.
I will say that the scene in the kitchen with Megan Fox smiling with blood covering her teeth was frightening enough, but when she goes exorcist and throws up black goo right after that the audience is laughing, and not from the jokes.
So a few more lame murder scenes happen and more boys get eaten before it is explained why this is going on.
Then out of nowhere starts a random up-close girl-kissing scene that drags on and on in which the males in the audience cheered to make up for the Fox topless scene being removed.
Oh, and an awkward sex scene between Seyfried and the guy from Hotel for Dogs that keeps flashing during a killing scene to bring down the fear factor.
I will say that Adam Brody did give a great performance as the quirky lead singer of "Low Shoulder" or the indie band that profits off these strange occurrences.
But, he is not featured in the film enough to keep it from sucking less. I will add a star for this good casting choice.
I did get a couple of laughs in from some of the lines such as "Dude, that is a hot murder weapon!", but whether I was supposed to be laughing is still a mystery to me.
I felt like I was watching the TV and flipping channels between Juno and Shaun of the Dead, and I just wanted to shut it off.
It was a bit schizophrenic.
Plus a few too many things were left without explanations.
I've concluded that Cody should stick to writing about alternative pregnant teenagers and leave the dark comedy up to people who understand the genre.
So unless you are a 14-year-old boy, I would say save your money and wait for this to come to DVD.
Then while you are waiting in the long line at your nearest Red Box location, you can seriously rethink your decision before bringing this one home.
Go see it at your own risk, but don't say I didn't warn you.
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